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星期六我去唱歌，因为看了集康熙来了说人不会唱歌只是因为没有后天训练。唱到外面的世界，竟然要哭了，虽然最终眼泪还是没掉下来。我是不被理解的怪人，你是追求自由的风筝，本来就已经很纠结，偏偏又有那么大的矛盾。好吧这是最后一条怨妇般的短信了。take care of yourself.

——今天整理邮箱发现的这封邮件，日期是4月18日，本来应该是条短信，没发出，变成了一封寄给自己的邮件。

Michelle Williams' reaction

AP  January 31, 2008 12:00AM

HERE is an edited extract from the interview in US Weekly.

IT took only a moment for Michelle Williams to absorb the news that Heath Ledger had died.

"She cried and screamed as soon as she heard," a source tells US magazine of the actress, who was in a hotel room in Sweden, where she was filming Mammoth, at the time.

One night later, when Williams, 27, and daughter Matilda, 2, arrived at her townhouse inBrooklyn - which mourners covered with candles, cards and flowers - on January 23, the anguish was still visible.

"She looked like she couldn't cry anymore and was very quiet," says a friend.

With mum Carla and best friend Busy Phillips by her side, she holed up in her home until January 26.

Says the friend, "Michelle is totally devastated".

On January 26, a dozen loved ones, including Williams and ex Naomi Watts, honored him during a 30-minute memorial at LA's Pierce Brothers Mortuary.

"We miss him terribly," uncle Mike Ledger tell Us, adding that Ledger was in Perth during Christmas.

"Growing up, he came regularly for get-togethers.

"We had a couple of horses and Heath would ride them.

"We've got fond memories of those days."

The few who knew Ledger well paint him as a charismatic but low-key "bloke" who loved to play chess, skateboard in Brooklyn and dote on Matilda.

"I saw him all the time playing with his daughter in the school park," neighbour Richie Vargas tellsUs Weekly.

"He was a father, and he had a lot of respect for men who took their kids to the park."

Michelle Vella, a staffer at NYC's Calypso Enfant kids' store tells Us, "He came in often with her (Matilda). He was always patient when she asked questions."

Vella notes Ledger was setting up a room for Matilda in his new apartment in NYC's SoHo area and had recently picked out a bookcase for her. 

Michelle Williams and Heath Ledger's daughter was born in October 2005.

But things soured over time.

According to multiple sources, the actor was steadily losing a prolonged battle with alcohol and drugs - cocain, heroin and "a variety of pills", says a Ledger confidant - and Williams was a firsthand witness for three years.

The source attributes the addictions to depression - another says he first began abusing "in social situations in the industry".

"He drank a lot - drank to get drunk," says a source.

"It didn't make him angry, just sombre."

The Ledger confidant adds, "They fought about his friends. She considered them a bad influence who kept him on drugs."

In March 2006 - just weeks after the two walked the Oscars red carpet - she even drove Ledger to Promises Treatment Centre in Malibu, California, says the confidant.

Ledger refused to check in, instead swaying her with a pledge to clean up.

The two returned home.

For a period, they even wore rings, but never confirmed an engagment or marriage.

But after months of fighting, Ledger and Williams "realised they were in way over their heads", says a source.

The couple split for good in September 2007.

And with his newfound bachelor status, Ledger became linked to a slew of women - Aussie model Gemma Ward, Lindsay Lohan, Helena Christensen and, most unexpectedly, Mary-Kate Olsen.

They met via mutual friends and dated non-exclusively for four months until his death.

"It was all sexy and secretive," says an insider.

But not exactly serious.

"I'm sure in her mind, they were madly in love," says the source.

"She was always buying him little gifts."

Olsen was in her management's Beverly Hills office when she got the initial call and she flew to NYC that night.

"She was inconsolable," says a source.

Seconds another, "she's heartbroken and scared".

WHen Ledger left his family for London to film The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, his mood shifted.

"He was really quiet and seemed happier by himself," a set source told US, who adds Ledger always passed on after-work drinks.

In his last days on set, Ledger was beset by illness.

"He was constantly coughing," says the source.

Ledger dismissed a suggestion to take a break.

A doctor was called, medication prescribed and he continued.

Afterward, "he seemed better, but you could tell he was struggling".

TMZ reported he had pneumonia.

The production took a scheduled hiatus on January 20, which allowed the actor to recoup at home in NYC.

But those close to him were concerned.

Though Ledger had discreetly been reaching out to private counselors in the past few months, "he looked like a zombie", says the Ledger confidant.

"A week or so before he died, he admitted he needed help.

"We were all thrilled."

The day before he died, he lunched with Gemma Ward and a female pal, and stopped by a nearby Gourmet Garage for groceries.

"He was so nice," says a sales clerk.

"He often bagged his own groceries."

On his final day, he had plans to hang out with tattoo-artist pal Joseph Aloi and his The Four Feathers director Shekhar Kapur.

Meanwhile, it remains unknown when Williams will return to Sweden to finish shooting Mammoth.

"She has been given as much time as needed," says a set source.

Fans of Ledger will be able to see his final performance in the eagerly awaited The Dark Knight, due out (in the US) on July 18.

His scenes were completed.

木心：『我告诉大家一个写作心得，文章是靠改的。我的文章通常要改六七次，看上去像一气呵成，其实花费很多精力。你看，《战争与和平》都要修改9次，巴尔扎克写东西要改上11 次，好文章都是修改出来的，我管这种修改方法叫“冷处理”——写完了，一边放着，修改另一篇。我经常是这边刚拿起来，那边就放进去，几篇文章同时进行。所以我常说，文章写出来，第一遍是耻辱；第七遍就是光荣了。』

第一遍是耻辱；第七遍就是光荣了。看到这句话，我忽然觉得，以前的自己真傻。

12月21日凌晨三时，诗人、文学家、画家木心先生在故乡乌镇逝世，享年84岁。

如题。

现在，给我吃一顿我喜欢的饭；
让我身体好一点；
晚上睡得舒服；
我就再也不抱怨。
站在这样一个节点上看小时候拥有的一切，
才发现那时候是那么的富有。

Today twitter mailed me infoming my missing on the web, then the GFW resent my greetings to the blog.

Hello world.

学一点LaTeX。把这六年来写的博客选一些还能看看的合成一本小集子送给我的朋友们。

照片找到了。